Created in 2006 by a member of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), the term “demisexuality” refers to a sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum. But what are its specificities?

Do you hate one night stands? Do you only experience sexual attraction after you have formed a strong emotional bond with someone? Maybe you belong to the demisexual community. First appeared in 2006 on the Network for Education and Visibility of Asexuality (AVEN), a site bringing together communities of asexual individuals, demisexuality is a sexual orientation belonging to the spectrum of asexuality. It refers to being sexually attracted to someone only after an emotional attachment has set in.

“At one time, users of the AVEN site were trying to determine the broad spectrum of asexuality,” says Anthony Bogaert, researcher on human sexuality and professor at Brock University in Canada at the BBC. began to emerge when people who identified as asexual described being able to experience sexual attraction under certain conditions. These people helped deepen the subject of asexuality by identifying certain aspects of the spectrum. they offered information that was not available anywhere else on the internet. “

A little-known orientation

Still unrecognized, demisexuality differs from simply wanting to wait to forge an emotional bond with someone before taking the plunge. Indeed, a demisexual person does not experience any sexual attraction until the bond in question is forged. “A half must first spend time with a person or have good conversations with him before being able to dive into his bed, explains Mieke Mievis, sex therapist, at the Belgian site 7sur7. If a half does not feel this emotional connection, he doesn’t feel a physical attraction. And even then a half doesn’t necessarily feel the need for sex, but for that emotional connection. “

However, as always in the spectrum of sexuality, each person who identifies as demisexual experiences their sexuality in a unique way. “The notion of connection can have a different meaning for everyone, underlines the sex therapist. One half needs a week of intense conversations, another a pleasant evening on the sofa, with someone who asks with interest how things are going. so, even within the same community, many variations are still possible. “

Thanks to social media, the term “demisexuality” has gained popularity and is now recognized as a sexual orientation in its own right. Like homosexuality, bisexuality or pansexuality, demisexuality has had its own official flag since 2010.


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