Some count their friends on the fingers of one hand. Others claim that they are very surrounded. But are all friendships beneficial? Far from it.
In a recent article, Lalitaa Suglani, a licensed psychologist based in Birmingham, revealed what she thinks are the nine signs to look out for to tell a good friendship from a toxic one.
It is in a post left on her Instagram account where more than 100,000 subscribers follow her advice, that Lalitaa Suglani distilled her recommendations. In her post, she stated that if a friend exhibits certain traits cited, it “maybe time to assess and analyze the friendship.” However, tempering her remarks, Lalitaa added that before “closing the door, it was important not to diagnose everyone as ‘toxic’ but to see what would happen if together the two friends worked on a transition”.
Friendships that evolve
Stating that she used the term “toxic” mindfully, she noted, “Friends should make you feel good, responsible, and uplifted. Of course, there will be times when that won’t happen and then you’ll have to re-evaluate the friendship.” Recalling that a friendship works both ways, she completed: “As you go through life, you can drift away from a friend and that’s okay. It may be sad because you have memories but that doesn’t mean you have to end the friendship.”
Signs that don’t lie
Lalitaa then listed nine signs indicating the toxicity of a friendship, these including the friend who calls only when he needs something, especially a favor. Other signs include those who put down or make fun of their friend in front of others or those who exclude them from activities with mutual friends. Lalitaa also pointed out that it was possible to feel bad about yourself after spending time with them. Another worrying fact is not rejoicing when good things happen or gossiping about others. Finally, she pointed out that in a toxic friendship, some use secrets against their friend and do not hesitate to share them with others. “You are worthy of deserving kindness, love and respect in a healthy friendship,” she concluded.