Surrendering after experiencing a trauma is not easy. Especially when you have already hit a wall. Unfortunately, it is the story of Jacob (assumed name) who was the victim of sexual abuse in his childhood. “I was abused by an older cousin when I was a child and this event affected me a lot. Only my mother and my aunt know about it” he explains in a letter sent to Deidre Sanders, sentimental coach for The Sun. If the 35-year-old would like to talk about his painful past with his new conquest, he hesitates. The reason ? He has already experienced a first disappointment by evoking the subject with a former girlfriend.

After six months of relationship, Jacob had decided to open up. At the time, he was convinced that his ex-girlfriend was going to support him, but the latter fled: “She didn’t know how to handle this revelation and deal with my dark periods.” Since then, the 30-year-old has found his shoes: “I met a woman at work. She is 28, she is very beautiful and she seems to like me a lot. We had four or five dates. you gallants.” However, her dilemma remains the same: “I don’t know how to bring up the subject of my past or even if I should tell her. My last relationship failed because I’m damaged by life. Now I’m afraid that my romance current one ends the same way.”

Talk about your demons to get rid of them

At the end of his letter, Jacob asked for help from Deidre Sanders, pointing out that he had always “struggled in love”. The expert answered him bluntly: “You don’t have to bring up your past until you are sure that your relationship is solid. This way, you will have no doubt that his love is unconditional. .” The coach then congratulated him for giving himself up to his mother and aunt. However, she told him that it was also important to talk about it with a professional. The latter therefore suggested that she contact the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC), a child protection association.

TESTIMONY Victim of sexual abuse in my childhood, I don't know how to confess it to my girlfriend

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