Can the desire be intact after several decades spent with the same partner? When routine gets involved, when the children leave the nest, it can be maddening to find yourself confronted with daily life, especially if it turns out to be unsurprising.

It is online, anonymously, that a married woman came to confide. Writing to Coleen Nolan of the Mirror newspaper for advice on her situation, the adulterous wife said going elsewhere had succeeded in making her enjoy her husband’s company again.

A helpful but pathetic husband

“Until recently, I was a bored, overweight, 44-year-old woman who had been married for 20 years with kids gone to college and a pathetic husband,” she wrote. A husband she does not hesitate to describe as “useful only because he pays the bills”. Between the two partners, sex has become a routine. Worse, an obligation. “I felt compelled to put on sexy underwear but I found sex really boring,” she explained. It only takes one incident for his life to take another turn.

Rediscover sex

“There was a family crisis and my husband disappeared,” she said. “A friend of hers arrived and, as usual, I was drunk because it was my way of dealing with boring sex” she developed. Her husband’s friend suggests “more alcohol”. Eventually, they end up in bed together. “It was a most brilliant moment,” she noted. For her, this is a real discovery. “The sex was unimaginable and it was the first time I slept with anyone other than my husband,” she confessed.

Frequent reunions

After this night together, she thinks her husband’s friend will cut ties. To his surprise, “he wanted more”. Regularly, the two lovers meet to enjoy hot asides. “We both have identical cars, spare time and partners. It is easy to meet,” she commented. Her husband seeming indifferent to her excuses when she stays out all night, she continues to have this extramarital affair.

rekindle the flame

Far from stopping in such a good way, she leaves, with this friend, on vacation in a place “where there are a lot of single people who like casual sex”. Strangely, sleeping frequently with other men makes her want to find her husband intimately. “We now enjoy regular sex,” she revealed. “He even comes home at dinner time for some quick sex,” she added, adding, “He likes this ‘new me’.”

A new way of life

This new way of life suits her so well that she no longer compensates for her dissatisfaction with food. “So I lost weight and I look younger and prettier,” she noted. “My children also like this change, and my friend, who I am going on vacation with, says that we are not hurting anyone because everyone is having a good time,” she said. Still, she can’t help but wonder what this means for her marriage and for herself.

A noticeable change

In her response, Coleen Nolan noted that she seemed to be having fun but mostly playing with fire. “It’s great that you feel better about yourself and maybe the reason you found sex boring in the past was because you didn’t like yourself very much,” the counselor said. This physical change may have, in a way, boosted her self-confidence and, in fact, revived her marriage.

A broken trust

However, Coleen says there is definitely a problem: the impact these short-lived relationships will have on her marriage and her family. “I take it your husband doesn’t know. He clearly trusts you and wants you to enjoy life. “That doesn’t mean he would accept you sleeping with other men, including one of his friends,” she objected. “Besides, this man is not really a friend, is he? she pointed out.

TESTIMONY Sleeping with strangers rekindled the flame with my husband

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Maria T.
Maria T.

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