Each parent has their own parenting methods and when grandparents get involved, things can change. Addison (assumed name) is particularly faced with a delicate situation. Her stepmother is preventing her 2-year-old daughter from having fun with boy toys. Same story for his 4 year old son. On the Mothering forum, the mother explains that she heard her oldest child tell her little sister that she was not allowed to play with her things: “I told her that girls and boys can play with same toys and he replied that his grandmother had told him no.”
Addison admits that she was completely unaware that the mother of her companion had this kind of speech in front of her children. “It bothers me deeply,” she says, indicating that she generally makes no distinction on the question of gender. Unfortunately, her two toddlers have already begun to integrate their grandmother’s ideals. “I want my kids to like their toys because they’re interested in them, not because it’s a gender norm. But I’ve noticed that they play more with typical boy and girl toys, and I’m afraid they were influenced by my mother-in-law.”
A necessary clarification with the mother-in-law
Visibly confused, Addison turned to Internet users to gather their opinions on this problem. They advised her to have a frank discussion with her mother-in-law. “If someone stopped my daughter from doing anything based on her gender, I would severely limit her interaction with my daughter until she joins us in the 21st century,” one person quipped, while another second went one better: “These prejudices are transmitted by the older generations, they must be eliminated if we want women to be considered equal.”
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