For 30 long years, Charlotte (assumed first name) lived in a lie fomented by her own mother. The latter deliberately hid the true identity of her father from him. The young woman discovered the pot of roses when her parent contacted her on social networks. “I was shocked but I believed him. He and his sons look a lot like me,” she told Deidre Sanders, the Sun’s regular adviser. And to add that the man she called “dad” was not surprised to learn the truth. “His relationship with my mother was toxic and he had been away from home for months at the time. They are no longer together.”
To make sure of their relationship, Charlotte carried out a DNA test which turned out to be positive. The father and daughter are now trying to make up for lost time: “We saw each other a few times even though he lives 240 kilometers away.” Half-hearted happiness for the thirties, who criticizes her mother for having kept the secret: “Although I am happy to have found him, I am also furious to have missed all these years by his side. mother keeps asking me about him but never asked how I felt. She is still in love with him (…) and I think she kept silent out of spite because he didn’t never wanted a relationship with her.”
A necessary discussion with his mother
Not knowing what to do, Charlotte eagerly sought the advice of Deidre Sanders. The expert first tried to understand her mother’s behavior: “It seems that your mother killed herself after being rejected. She has not overcome this hurt and still hopes that they can revive what they had (…) Although this may explain your mother’s attitude, it is not an excuse.” The specialist suggested to the 30-year-old to have a frank discussion with her mother: “Explain to her that you are managing a lot of changes and that you would like to have her support. But maybe she will never get to you. bring in. Talking to a therapist will definitely help.”
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