What’s more important in a relationship than respecting each other’s boundaries? If a clear line is established, respecting it only proves his love, his attention to the needs and desires of his spouse. Above all, it denotes the desire to establish a benevolent space where the other can feel comfortable and understood.
However, a woman felt extremely hurt and betrayed by her boyfriend after he went against her wishes. In question, a secret meeting with her sister when she has very little contact with her family.
The need to break
It is online, anonymously, on a Reddit forum, that the young woman confided after this unpleasant discovery. She noted, “I haven’t had contact with my family for about seven years now.” Not going into details, however, she said that this choice was the result of “decades of psychological violence”. Also, once she left, she cut off all contact, her family doing the same except for “one or two texts that I ignored”. An attitude that her boyfriend nevertheless struggles to understand.
A denial of his traumas
“He mentioned that it is not healthy to hold grudges and that I must eventually forgive them for my own sanity,” she wrote. During this exchange, she confirms her desire not to talk to them anymore and asks him not to broach the subject again. A desire he seems to accept. “A few days ago he sat me down and said, ‘Look, I know you’re going to say no, but your sister asked me if we wanted to go for a coffee. Shocked by this request, she forcefully refuses and thinks the discussion is over.
suspicious behavior
However, her boyfriend comes back to the charge. “Today he mentioned he was going for coffee with a friend,” she commented. “I just asked him who with” she slipped. Her boyfriend then changes his behavior, becoming evasive and making jokes about another girlfriend as he usually does. “It usually makes me laugh,” she said. Only this time, she thinks back to the conversation they had about her sister and doubt sets in. “Immediately, I asked him if he was going with her. He sheepishly said yes,” she continued.
A blatant lack of respect
Once again, she explains to him that this situation is very uncomfortable for her and that she would prefer that he refrain. He then replies “You told me not to tell you if they ask again, and I did. What is the problem ? “. Stunned by this remark, she sees him leaving their apartment to go to his appointment. When she returns, she deliberately ignores him. After a while, he questions her about her behavior. “I yelled at him saying he didn’t respect my boundaries and he basically told them ‘fuck you’ while going for coffee with my sister,” she said.
A bad partner
In the comments following his message, the majority of people were just as shocked at the behavior of his partner, declaring, for many, that this was a reason for breaking up. “I don’t know if there can be a future between you after this,” said one person. “So much disrespect on so many different levels, undermining your trauma and your boundaries,” she continued. A second said: “He ignored your limits, your traumas, and goes behind your back to undermine your need for non-contact. It doesn’t help your sanity and you can’t trust it.” Finally, a third indicated that his partner should never have had a connection with his in-laws if he cared at all for his companion and her well-being.
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