Zoey (first name) thought she was having happy days with her darling, but the latter was actually not happy. “I met my boyfriend at university nine years ago. We were both 20 years old. Until now, we had a solid relationship – we are on the same wavelength, we have fun together, we respect each other and the sex has always been good. Well, that’s what I thought, “she wrote in a letter to Coleen Nolan, adviser to the Mirror. When her boyfriend started to pull away from her and go out more, she made up her mind to confront him. The latter confessed to him, that in his eyes, they had become a couple too young. Result ? He now wants to go elsewhere.
In shock, Zoey did not expect such a revelation: “He dropped a bombshell, admitting that he fantasized a lot about sleeping with other women. He thinks we should get into a union free.” Madly in love with her darling, the young woman feels unable to share it: “It hurts me a lot and I can’t believe it. An open relationship is not what I want and I’m afraid for the sequel.” From now on, tensions are high within the couple: “We still live together but we don’t talk too much anymore. When we interact, it usually ends with me shouting at him and him repeating to me that he has already told me how he feels. I don’t know what to do anymore. She’s the love of my life.”
The choice between an open relationship or a breakup
For Coleen Nolan, the ball is in Zoey’s court: “You don’t want an open relationship (I wouldn’t want one either), so you have to think about your future and what you deserve, that is, a relationship with commitment and limits.” The expert also pointed out that sometimes it was necessary to “let go of a person” to move forward: “You can’t force him to stay. Let him go but don’t put your life on hold.” Finally, the sentimental coach sent him comforting words: “You have the impression that you will never recover from it, but I promise you that you will. You will come out of it stronger and wiser.”