In love, it is better to be honest about certain points, especially when it comes to matters relating to children. Allergic to lies, a young woman anonymously shared her distress online after discovering incredible news.
It was with Coleen, adviser to the Mirror newspaper, that the young woman tried to get some advice on the future of her couple after discovering that her boyfriend had hidden an important part of his life from her.
“I can’t stand secrets and lies and now I’m questioning our whole relationship,” she wrote. In a relationship for six months, his relationship seemed fulfilling and destined to continue. A happiness that leads the young woman to discuss more serious topics such as having children. But opening the discussion, she did not expect her companion to make a terrible confession.
A hurtful confidence
“He told me that he doesn’t want ‘any more’ because he had a child at 19 that he hardly sees,” she explained, insisting that he “had never spoken of her before”. After this revelation, the young woman has the unpleasant impression of no longer knowing her boyfriend at all. “I am not at all bothered by the fact that he has a daughter but I am very upset that it took him six months to tell me,” she confided. When she asks him why he did not bring up the subject before, he replies “It was never said. It’s personal, I always take care of it myself.”
A painful past
She also learns that her companion has not seen her daughter for over a year. “It was on the occasion of his tenth birthday. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his ex. Now she wonders how their relationship can move forward when he has hidden part of his life from her. “What did I get myself into? Should I get out? Or am I overreacting? she asked.
In response, Coleen assured him that his reaction was not excessive but that he was certain not to know everything about a person in just six months. She invited him to restart the discussion in order to obtain more information. “It was probably a very painful journey for him,” she said. Noting that his ex could be difficult or have prevented him from forming a bond with his daughter, his companion may still feel guilty despite everything, thinking that he would be seen as an absent parent. “He finds it difficult to talk about it, it makes him vulnerable,” she noted. “I understand that the idea of having children may be out of his plans. He may be thinking, “What if it happens again and I don’t see that child? “”. Inviting her to bring her companion to safety and to be understanding, she concluded “You will only know the whole story by sticking to it and getting to know it better”.