As children get older and reach the age when romantic relationships become more serious, it can be fun for the whole family to get together, especially if everyone gets on well.
Nevertheless, one mum wondered whether or not she was right to wonder. Indeed, the boyfriend of his 21-year-old daughter, who is frequently present during their family outings, expects her parents to pay for him as they do for their daughter. Which does not fail to cause some discomfort…
An omnipresent boyfriend
It was anonymously on the Mumsnet site that the mother came to question the other parents, asking them if she was “stingy” towards her daughter’s boyfriend. She noted, “My daughter has been dating a boy for three years. He’s a very nice person and we all get along very well.” Stating that her daughter invites her to all family activities, she added, “When he shows up, we feel obligated to pay for him the same way we do for her.” A generosity that begins to weigh on him.
annoying behavior
“They are both students and do not have much disposable income,” she said. “When we go out, I buy him tickets to events, food, drinks, etc. But he expects us to do the same for him and I’m a little fed up. If she is perfectly okay to take care of everything when a foursome is planned, she is annoyed by the multiple unexpected appearances of the young man and his behavior in general.
Unrequited generosity
“He also eats with us four nights a week,” she said. “Our hospitality is also not reciprocated from his family. I don’t expect that to be the case but I’m upset,” she said. “I don’t know if I’m overreacting but all these sums add up and we are not an ATM! she concluded, wondering if she should talk to her daughter about it or if the subject will cause an argument.
A delicate discussion
Receiving many responses, the annoyed mom was encouraged to open the discussion with her daughter and her boyfriend. “It seems unfair that she expects him to follow you everywhere and that you pay for it” wrote a first person. “You are quite reasonable,” noted for a second, arguing “Talk to them calmly to try to solve the problem. Or do activities only at home as long as she is with him! “. For a third on the other hand, it seemed difficult to change things after three years at this pace. “It will be a challenge to come to grips with that and change it. I would agree to him having tea but not to paying for entrance tickets or eating out. Good luck…” she admitted.
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