Nicky Wake was 49 years old. Her husband, Andy, 57. In 2020, the couple should have enjoyed many happy years. Unfortunately, their time together was cut short, with the spell taking back from Nicky and Andy, what he had given them.

It was in 2002 that Nicky and Andy met. On a dating site, the duo had found so much in common that only two years later, they had said “Yes”. In 2007, they even welcomed their first child, Finn.

His wonderful soulmate

A true pillar of the family, Andy “was a wonderful soul and I am grateful for every second of my life spent with him,” confided Nicky to the Mirror newspaper. “We were meant to be together, he was my absolute soul mate. He had a very political mind and a real morality. I just loved him from the minute I met him,” she added. It only takes two dates to realize that she is going to marry him and this feeling was mutual. Returning to Andy’s health, Nicky described him as a laid back, fit man, never going to the doctor.

The World’s Most Devoted Husband

Prior to the death of former Greater Manchester Police Press Chief Andy, Nicky worked in events. It was with his support that Nicky was able to set up her own business. Andy helped him so much that he even ended up quitting his job to work full-time with his girlfriend for a decade. The more the company grew, the more Andy let Nicky take center stage, becoming “the most devoted husband in the world” in his words. With her assistance and unwavering support, Nicky traveled all over England organizing events, was able to focus on writing a novel and raising their child, also cooking their meals and traveling available for school outings.

A terrible feeling

But in 2017, their wonderful story exploded. Nicky, upon returning home, discovered Andy suffering from severe chest pains. “My blood froze” she noted, continuing “I had a terrible feeling”. Although her husband has tried to reassure her, Nicky takes her to see a doctor. After blaming it on stress, Nicky insists that he take additional tests. There, they learn that Andy has had a heart attack. With treatment, Andy is allowed to return to the family home. “I thought we got away with it, that everything was fine,” she recalled. Only four days later Andy has another heart attack.

The start of a new life

Nicky does her best to keep her husband alive while waiting for help, but Andy’s brain, deprived of oxygen, suffers a major brain injury. Three weeks follow when Nicky, at her husband’s bedside, hopes for a miracle after multiple attempts at resuscitation. Soon, it becomes clear that Andy will no longer be able to communicate or walk. Moving into a specialized unit, her husband receives 24-hour care, leaving Nicky to learn how to become a single parent. Faced with Andy’s change in behavior, sometimes becoming aggressive, Nicky makes the heavy decision not to let Finn see his father in this state.

From wife to widow

“Seeing the man you love as less than a shadow of himself was utterly heartbreaking. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy,” she said. The day before Andy died, a “miracle” happened. “We hugged each other. It was magnificent, so poignant, that’s the memory that I retained, ”she confessed. Some time before the pandemic, Andy contracts a virus and dies. Nicky, at 49, then goes from wife to widow. At that moment, everything changes for the one who has just said goodbye to the love of her life.

Fill the void

To help fill the void Andy leaves in their lives, Nicky and Finn adopt a puppy. And then, one thing leading to another, Nicky starts having dates. “In my head, I lost my husband five years ago,” she said. “I thought I would have put all that behind me but, apparently, not. How am I going to find someone who will be my next soul mate? Everything has changed so much. Tinder is like the Wild West! she added.

Start Chapter 2

Nicky understands, when she confesses to being a widow, that there must be a “better way” to meet people. At the same time, she attends the events of the support group Widowed and Young to learn how to manage her new status. “I saw that widows connected instantly. There is an emotional shortcut at this level,” she commented. Nicky then decides to launch a platform specifically dedicated to them. Named “Chapter 2”, it is more than just a dating site.

A horrible world that no one chose

“It’s a community” revealed Nicky. On this platform, people can thus choose to register to find love or companionship and friendship. “Chapter 2 means different things to different people. If I can help some of them find the joy that I was deprived of for five years, it would almost help me to make sense of my loss,” she said. “We are all navigating this horrible world that none of us wanted to be part of” she continued, specifying “At no time do we use “move forward””. In addition to the “meetings” part, the application has a forum but also features such as a section for legal and financial support, emotional support with articles on bereavement, one for solo parenting or even on how to navigate. in a blended family or managing the bereavement of the children.

find joy along the way

Nicky has made it her business to ensure this is a safe online space. Registration is detailed, photos must be taken within the last twelve months, and the site has a code of conduct where it is also possible to report disturbing profiles. No age limit is imposed and Nicky hopes to succeed in marrying a couple in their eighties! Above all, she wants to organize social events using her experience in event management. “I hope I find my Chapter 2. I think it’s around the corner somewhere.” Nothing makes me happier than helping others find joy, but if I can find it along the way, that would be lovely,” she concluded.

TESTIMONY After the death of my husband I created a dating application for widowers

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Maria T.
Maria T.

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