It is not from one but from two betrayals that a woman must now recover. Confiding her thoughts about her divorce to her friend, a woman never thought she would be confronted with such an unpleasant truth.
It is anonymously that the latter came to pour out in the columns of the Mirror newspaper, seeking from their appointed adviser, Coleen Nolan, some leads to follow to resurface.
Quit abruptly
“I am a woman in my early 40s,” she wrote. “My husband moved a year ago, leaving my daughter and me in the family home,” she explained. Explaining that this departure was wanted by her husband only, she returned to the moments preceding the breakup. “He said he wasn’t in love with me (brutal) and that we were already living separate lives,” she recalled.
A husband always absent
According to her, these “separate lives” would come from the fact that her husband was always at work. “He runs his own business and that’s always the priority so my daughter and I are used to him never being around,” she commented. If now she is better and rebuilding her life, the arrival of the divorce papers recently brought back many memories to the surface. “It was real and I started to panic about the future,” she said. “But that wasn’t what really baffled me,” she slipped.
A double betrayal
Indeed, a few days after the divorce, her ex-husband telephoned her to tell her that he had met one of her closest friends. “It was like a stab in the heart,” she said. Throughout her divorce, she had grown closer to this friend, sharing “everything with her”. “To say that I feel betrayed is the understatement of the century” she annoyed. “I can’t believe this romance just happened when the divorce only happened a few days ago! she protested.
A long link
Now she wonders about this connection. “It must have lasted ages and that may even be the reason why he left me,” she imagined. To make things clear, she repeatedly tries to reach her friend, but she doesn’t pick up. “When I asked my ex how long this had been going on, he just said it wouldn’t help to go over details,” she said. Devastated, hating her ex-husband and even more, her ex-friend, she wondered how to deal with this double betrayal.
Wounded in her pride
In her response, Coleen Nolan, understanding the pain that the betrayed woman could feel in the face of this double pain, reminded her that anger, devastation and grief were perfectly normal in such a situation. “Your pride is also hurt and you feel silly that all of this could have happened under your nose without seeing it,” she said. Advising her to focus on her own life and happiness, she emphasized that revenge was not worth wasting her energy on. “You have to believe that these people are not worth your tears or your hatred because it can consume you and prevent you from moving forward,” she advised.
Continue to advance
According to her, the best thing she could do is to continue living her life and doing what really makes her feel good. “She’s not your friend anymore, that’s normal. She hides from you because she knows she hurt you and she can’t take the consequences. Inviting him to “focus on other friendships”, not to be “consumed by the past”, she offered to consult him if necessary and above all, to continue to move forward”.
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