Laury got pregnant when she was 19. After this unwanted pregnancy, the young woman found herself alone to raise her daughter named Mia. At first, everything was going pretty well. “I would manage to feed him (…) I took pictures of everything. Absolutely everything that Mia did. I needed to tell myself that it was real life” she confessed in Konbini. But the reality quickly became more difficult to bear: “As soon as it was a little more ‘complex’, like playing with her, giving her hugs, kisses, reading her stories, that was super complicated. I couldn’t bond with her. Normal parent bonding.”

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Overwhelmed by the situation, Laury lived a real hell the first two years: “I cried at the same time as her. I put her in her bed and I waited for it to pass.” When her daughter was 2 years old, the young woman attempted suicide. Hospitalized for two or three days, she realized she couldn’t manage on her own. “I can’t anymore. I need help. I need you to take Mia,” she told the social worker who had been following her since the beginning of her pregnancy. A week later, Childhood Social Assistance (ASE) came to pick up the little girl, who was placed with a foster family.

Maternal regret, a subject still taboo

After careful consideration, Laury has decided to relinquish her parental rights. It’s been a year since she last saw her daughter: “I miss her, in the sense that I still learned to love her, Mia. It’s just that I don’t love her like a mother, I love her like a child that I had in charge. A choice she does not regret: “I know that she is much better off without me, that at least she has a healthy life, that she has everything she needs (…) And then me, in fact, I’ve been doing a lot better since then.” The young woman planned to write her a letter: “I’m going to explain everything to her, tell her that it’s not her fault, that she has nothing to do with it and above all that she doesn’t feel guilty because she had a mother who played a role she didn’t want to play.” And to conclude that we should not hesitate to ask for help.

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